APPLICATION FOR PERMISSION TO DATE MY DAUGHTER

NOTE: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless accompanied
by a complete financial statement, job history, driving record, lineage, and
current certified medical report (including drug tests) from your doctor.

1. NAME  ________________________ DATE OF BIRTH _______________

2. HEIGHT __________ WEIGHT ________ I.Q ________ G.P.A._________

3. EPF# __________________ DRIVERS LICENSE #  __________________

4. BOY SCOUT RANK____________________________________________

5. HOME ADDRESS ____________ CITY/STATE _________ ZIP __________

6. Do you have one MALE and one FEMALE parent?___________________

    If No, EXPLAIN ______________________________________________

7. Number of years your parents have been married __________________

8. Do you own a van? ____________ A truck with oversized tires? ______ A waterbed? _________

Do you have an earring, nose ring, belly button ring, or a tattoo?________

(If  "yes" to any of #8, discontinue application and leave premises)

9. In 50 words or less, what does "LATE" mean to you?________________

10. In 50 words or less, what does "DON’T TOUCH MY DAUGHTER" mean to you? _______________________________________________________

11. In 50 words or less, what does "ABSTINENCE" mean to you?
___________________________________________________________

12. Do you attend church? ______________
Church you attend __________ How often do you attend ___________

(If  "no" to #12, discontinue application and leave premises)

13. When would be the best time to interview your father, mother and priest/rabbi/minister? _________________

14. Answer by filling in the blank: please answer freely. ALL answers are confidential (That means I won’t  tell anyone -ever- I promise.)

a) If I were shot, the last place on my body I would want wounded is _______________________________________________

b) If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken is my
_______________________________________________

c) A woman’s place is in the _______________________________________________

d) The one thing I hope this application does not ask me about is _______________________________________________

e) When I first meet a girl, the first thing I notice about her is _______________________________________________

( NOTE: If your answer begins with "T" or "A", discontinue. Leave premises keeping your head low. Running in a serpentine fashion is advised.)

15. What do you want to be IF you grow up? ____________________________________

I SWEAR THAT ALL INFORMATION SUPPLIED ABOVE IS TRUE AND CORRECT
TO THE BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE UNDER PENALTY OF DEATH, DISMEMBERMENT, NATIVE AMERICAN ANT TORTURE, ELECTROCUTION, CHINESE WATER TORTURE, AND RED HOT POKERS.

 

________________________________________
Signature (That means sign your name)

Thank you for your interest. Please allow four to six years for
processing. You will be notified in writing if you are approved. Please do
not try to call or write. If you do attempt any communication before your
application is approved, automatic disqualification will result.
If your application is rejected, you will be notified by
two gentlemen wearing white ties and carrying violin cases (You might
want to watch your back).

Do you still want to date my daughter?:

_____ Yes, please accept my application

_____ I um, no, I uh, think I have the wrong house…

21 Comments

  1. 1
    Pauline Says:

    Sweat lah this.
    Miracle will go crazy @@ll

  2. 3
    chi Says:

    i pity miracle’s future partner~ sure will be scared off by u. hahahaa..

    ermm..answer that begins with “T” or “A”? what??

  3. 5
    chi Says:

    in the form…

    e) When I first meet a girl, the first thing I notice about her is _______________________________________________

    ( NOTE: If your answer begins with “T” or “A”, discontinue. Leave premises keeping your head low. Running in a serpentine fashion is advised.)

    wut’s dat mean?

    • 6
      Mike Leo Says:

      I have no idea what “T” and “A” means. I copied from the internet.

      But I will find out.

      Stay tuned for next year’s Father’s Day to know the answer, ya.

  4. 7
    PiErRe HeRnAnDeZ Says:

    i oni noe w n c not t or a… w = wai c = chi hehe ^^

  5. 8
    Edren Says:

    It’s a good one. But i hope you won’t really implement it. 4 – 6 years processing turn around time.. kasihan betul.. :)

    • 9
      Mike Leo Says:

      Edren,

      I’m a busy parent, you know. 4-6 years is considered very efficient already -better than our government sector – ha ha ha

  6. 10
    Karl Says:

    I pity your daughter. She’s the one who is really losing out.

  7. 12
    michelle Says:

    wwuuaahh..
    need not to be like daT?
    if my parents were to be like dat i rather not have any life partner… :P

  8. 13
    tjenn Says:

    This is so goood! :)

  9. 14
    Bean Turd Says:

    Lol. Miracle’s gotta learn to live without a partner. :(
    If I were the DA, you’d be charged with child abuse. Lol.

  10. 15
    MikeLeo Says:

    Bead Turd,

    Since you’re in law, what case can you bring against it?

  11. 16
    Sue Says:

    wah liao… stress ah… haha.. both miracle and the guy who is after her.. haha

  12. 18
    Wai Han Says:

    haha Ps Mike, then ur job as father will be forever tat heavy lo..all guys that want to go after miracle will run away in 4-6 years time..no one share the load to take care miracle dy..(pity Michelle:P)

    • 19
      Mike Leo Says:

      Dear Wai Han,

      You will fully understand and agree with me when you go thru a nine month pregnancy and give birth to a precious child.

      You will literally kill if someone were to hurt your child.

      Until then, let’s believe God has great plans for Miracle and for all of us.

  13. 20
    A person Says:

    t, means tits, a means ass!! Wow, so hard to figure out!!!


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