I was invited to be the emcee for two weddings; one in July and the other in September.
In the midst of preparing the speeches and the toast, I come across these funny one-liners.
Of course, I will not be using it on stage, but it’s something funny to share with you all:
My Wife Says I Never Listen, Or Something Like That…
Marriages are made in heaven. But so again, are thunder and lightning.
Marriage means commitment. Of course, so does insanity.
It’s not true that married men live longer than single men. It only seems longer.
A happy marriage is a matter of give and take; the husband gives and the wife takes.
I haven’t spoken to my wife for 18 months–I don’t like to interrupt her.
If a man speaks in the forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong?
Before we got married I caught her in my arms. Now I catch her in my pockets.
If it weren’t for marriage, men would spend their lives thinking they had no faults at all.
haha.. i love the last quote! that was the funniest man!
Yup… I agree with you, Sue…
It if weren’t for marriage, men would have not known that they are the “most perfect” species on earth, not just having no fault…
I Don’t Get The Joke… -.-
You wil get it once you get married. At the mean time, just tag along.